I'm sorry, I feel like I haven't gotten to talk to you as much as I should. Its not that I didn't want to, I do more than anything - I find myself going to my phone to call you each day like we used to, but the full realization comes roaring back and I wasn't quite able to handle it. However, I'm starting to feel ready and yesterday was my first step in that.
As you've undoubtably noticed I'm in Prague on this amazing journey that's taking me all over the world. What you've also noticed was I have several tiny urns with me to put in each of the places we stop. This month, I've been agonizing over where you'd like to be - asking myself questions like what place inspires me to think of you, what place would you have loved, what place seems like you? I've visited monuments, hiked mountains, explored castles and walked the Czech countryside, ....nothing. Its down to our last couple of days here so I went out for a walk around Prague yesterday looking and hoping for some inspiration, some direction on what to do. I walked down to the river, up to the Charles Bridge through Wenceslas Square all the while getting rained on. With a slight feeling of defeat, I kept walking until I got to a park where my new friends and I have been spending a lot of time together. Its become kind of a special place to us so I figured it may hold the key to some hidden wisdom. As I got near the top of Sunset Hill, a place where we've spent a lot of time getting to know each other and building our friendships, something happened.
Here's some of the group, you'd absolutely adore them mom
As you know, I'm not one for to believe in omens, signs or things like that but when I got there, the rain stopped and the sun started to emerge from the clouds, and I realized...this is it. This is the spot. A place that I'll remember forever as the place where I got to know these 74 amazing people for the first time, right near where we sang karaoke without a karaoke machine, where we've watched the sunset multiple times, where we talked about life back home and our dreams for this year together. I love that hill, and you would too. So I found a hidden little spot under a small tree away from the main area (didn't think you'd want to be bothered by tourists and the occasional drunk Czech :) ), and there amongst a group of small flowers emerging under the tree is where you are, overlooking this gorgeous city and its castle. I like the idea that there will be other Remote Year groups sitting just a little bit away from you, experiencing this city for the first time, building friendships and I know you'll look after them just the same as you've looked after us.
Your new view over Prague
Like I said at your service - you always told people that I was your rock, but in truth you were mine. I can't express in words how much I miss you, your kindness, your empathy and most importantly our daily chats (Europeans call them chats mom so I'm going with it) . My friends and family have been amazingly supportive over the past 8+ months and this new family I'm getting to know is so positive, inspiring and loving - they've helped me process and move on a bit more each day, even if many of them don't know it yet. I can't wait to show you the rest of the world alongside this silly-ass, beautiful group of people and explore all it has to offer. Everyday I want to tell you about this trip, the people I'm here with, the fun we're having and the memories we're forming but this will have to suffice.
I know you'd love this journey as I much as I do. But for now keep an eye over Prague for me I'll be back soon.
Nicholas (I wanted to write Nick but I know you liked Nicholas more...)
PS - Enjoy the sunsets